Our Crucible

From Merriam-Webster:

crucible

 noun

cru·​ci·​ble |  ˈkrü-sə-bəl  
Definition of crucible1: a vessel of a very refractory (see REFRACTORY entry 1 sense 3) material (such as porcelain) used for melting and calcining a substance that requires a high degree of heat2: a severe testHe's ready to face the crucible of the Olympics.3: a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development… conditioned by having grown up within the crucible of Chinatown …— Tom WolfeHis character was formed in the crucible of war._ _ _ _ _ _ 

From leaderonomics.com - 

Crucible moments are times in our lives when we experience circumstances that forever transform us. They challenge one to question their beliefs and values, and leave one with a completely new identity – hence the term crucible: a place of testing

_ _ _ _ _ _ 

Hi. So here we are. 

I'm feeling moved to share a bit of my heart and mind, this first Sunday post Roe v. Wade's  overturn.

I'll keep it brief for a Sunday morning as I'm working to stay both grounded and stable as we begin this collective jouney through mass struggle beneath oppressive brute force. 

My child (M) deserves the best of me (especially NOW) so I intend to do my very best to center him in my life, to help guide and teach along with my life partner and his dad, to create balance for us, for M's unique needs and the community we belong to (thereby how we show up within it.) 

My only expectation is this: things will continuously shift and change around and through us. So it is my -hope- to create stability as best I'm able, stay grounded, deeply rooted in place, and remain as flexible as possible. Meds help. Still, all of this is a daily practice and I regularly "fuck it up and find out."

I intend to keep checking in with those who I love and have supported me through rough times. All of this while also managing my capacity to provide (or more likely, support) mutual aid efforts and my ability to speak out/activate in ways that make sense for me and my family. 

Mostly I’m gonna need to learn to manage my self-struggle shit (meds help, did I say that already?) stay mindful of my invisible disability and better organize my mind and life. This photo shared by  a friend really helped lay that out for me today, showing what I know and still manage all that I scientifically ‘fuck up and find out’ on the daily. 

                                                     

It is my sense and firm belief: this is The Crucible of our time. I don't have any actual plan but that's not new. It's my general truth (see executive dysfunction.) It is also my fiercely held belief: the harmful systems that shape the context of our world, well, it •preys• on us and consciously, intentionally creates executive dysfunction in the vulnerable. This is effectively put upon us thru •constant chaos & distraction• in efforts to keep us uprooted; thereby •smaller• in allied action and with even less ablility/resources to invest in community •growth & unity• 

All of this makes us less connected and available to •get shit done• and it•is•on•purpose

What I can do now, all that’s left, is to remain honest and transparent in what I •can• bring to others in these times which are not trying, but a trial. Even if all I can offer is to simply create & hold space, offer a kind ear and embrace to help a struggling person to feel seen-heard-not alone.


How are you choosing to showing up?

Love, Lacey






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